As promised (And I, unlike Stella, actually do keep my promises. She missed an autograph signing last night disapointing the “fans” who turned out to see her) have appeared for a guest appearence on her blog. First of all I want to make it clear that I do not want to do this. I did not beg, plead or even ask that uppity Stella Stargirl to appear. I only agreed to stop her from whining about it since she wouldn’t shut up about wanting me, the beautiful Lady Adder, to appear. I’ve no idea why, I’m guessing she wanted me to add a touch of class to the place.
Well, I did say I was going to blog about an important subject and indeed I am. Snakes.
People seem to hate snakes and to be honest, it sickens me. You fools think they are nasty, slimy creatures associated with evil which is a common misconception. Snakes are in fact beautiful, loyal creatures.
As you all should know, I am the world’s greatest snake charmer (And that isn’t an exagerration, unlike Stella Stargirls absurd claims that she is the world’s greatest superhero) I am the great-granddaughter of the great Elizabeth Levy who, in the early 1900’s used to travel around Europe perfoming feats of snake charming for the punters so you could say it runs in the family.
Anyway, enough about me. Unlike Stella, I don’t enjoy talking to myself and thrusting my face into every camera that aims my way just in the hopes of appearing on the front pages of newspapers and magazines.
Snakes are really useful, beautiful creatures. You simpletons love lesser creatures, such as Lions which are truly sickening animals. You peasent’s love of those beasts thanks to movies like the Lion King is disgusting. They’re vile creatures who somehow get worshipped whilst snakes are reviled purely because they are associated with evil. Mainly because of Adam and Eve. Just because one snake rolls an apple towards that foolish girl and tells her to eat it all snakes are hated.
They’re also considered to be cowardly which is again, a stupid misconception. My slippery squadron of serpents are anything but cowardly. They are brave, fearless creatures who would do anything for me.
That hack JK. Rowling has also helped spread the hatred of snakes by associating them with Voldemort and evil wizards. For all the focus in her books of hatred and mistrust towards muggles, half-giants and those grubby, ugly little cretins which do chores (I’ve forgot what they’re called) she doesn’t seem to mind being prejudiced towards lovely, little serpents does she?
Now, I know this seems like a rant and guess what, it is. I’ve longed to rant to someone about how snakes are portrayed and Stella’s blog (Along with all the hypocritical, sycophants she calls “fans”) is the perfect place since Stella always insists on hogging the limelight nobody ever wants to hear from me, the cornerstone of the superhero team The Empire.
Don’t get me started on the worst portrayal of snakes. Sir Hiss from disney’s Robin Hood. In fact, every Disney film that features a snake portrays them in negative ways.
Well, that is enough from me. I don’t want to spend anymore time than is needed at this dreadful place.
Just remember, snakes are not evil creatures despite what some fools might say. Which is why I’m starting up Lady Adder’s Group for Equal Rights and Accurate Portrayals of Serpents in Todays International Media. (LAGERAPSTIM)