Hello Stellaties! It’s time for another interview. My guest this week is a Hollywood superstar who is almost as famous as me. Of course she’s only an actress, not a superhero who has saved the world but hey, not everyone can be me 😉 She also died, but is here talking to me, but not as a zombie or ghost so I’m sure she’s got a story to tell! It is Ms Tiffany Labouf!
Question 1: Hiya Tiffany, thanks for agreeing to be a guest on my blog. So, erm sorry to cut to the chase but you died, right, how come you’re still down amongst the living?
Hi, Stella. It’s nice to be here. Well, it’s a kind of long story. I was at a Hollywood pool party, and this really cute guy gave me a drink. Actually, I didn’t want to go to this party at all, but my agent said I should because there would be some important people there who could get me some high-paying modeling jobs. Anyway, I took the drink, and the next thing I knew, some guys were hitting on me, and one of them upset me so much, I took a sip of my drink and woke up in this meadow. It was really pretty and peaceful–much better than that stupid pool party. The next thing I knew, I saw this strange dark area, and when I drew closer, someone yanked me into it. I realized I was in a strange, scary place smelling like sulphur and mildew, and the guy who’d dragged me was a demon.
Question 2: Wait, a demon? You did actually die didn’t you? You’re not. . . high or something?
Yes, I died. From what my biographer Dave told me, they’d drugged my drink, and it gave me a heart attack. I didn’t deserve any of this, you know. Like I said, I didn’t even want to go to that stupid party in the first place, but you know how agents are, don’t you? Mine even wanted me to enlarge my breasts, but I told him no, I like myself the way I am. You don’t think my breasts are too small, do you? You do believe me, don’t you? I really am dead. I wouldn’t make any of this up, you know. I’m not that kind of girl!
Question 3: Okay okay, take it easy I believe you. Just seems, wow. . . I had no idea demons actually existed. So, what’s this demon who took you like?
He’s a pig. He’s ignorant and rude and arrogant and . . . well, he’s a pig.
Question 4: And how about Hell? I’m sure plenty of people are dying to know what Hell is like. . . no pun intended 🙂
Actually, I didn’t spend much time down there at all, thank goodness. But it’s really not a very nice place. It’s dark, and there are dead trees, crawly things and slimy stuff all over the place.
Question 5: Well, you’re up here now. How did you manage to escape?
Apparently Gutril, the pervert who pulled me into Hell, was suddenly zapped up here by a high school girl fooling around with an online spell. The funny thing about it was that Gutril isn’t supposed to be up here. He’s been ordered to stay down there for another five hundred years or whatever because whenever he comes up here, he screws up and causes good things to happen. So when the Legion of Demons discovered him missing, they decided to send two inferior demons up here to bring him back down. They decided to send Chip, a trickster, up with me. Even though I’m not a demon, they decided to send me up because they thought I could lure him back down.
Question 6: So they let you out, aren’t they scared that you’ll just stay up here and never return?
A demon needs a mortal host if he wants to stay up here. I can’t do it because, as Chip says, I’m not a demon. Chip can’t do it because he’s too goofy to find anyone who can put up with him for very long.
Question 7: And who is Chip? Sounds like an odd name for a demon, doesn’t sound too scary.
Chip’s real name is Cyripedium Calceolous, and his spirit form is that of a flower–a Yellow Lady’s Slipper. He’s a trickster, which means he can make himself look like anything–which helps whenever someone is after him. He does have some weird habits, though. His favorite foods are eggshells and cooked coffee grounds, and he loves standing in puddles of water–especially in the Morning.
Question 8: So is he a good guy (If there can be a good demon) do you guys get along?
He’s a good guy in spite of himself. Yes, we get along–although he does get a little rambunctious at times. And he does spend a little too much time staring at my breasts.
Question 9: And what’s this Gutril guy planning?
Like all demons, he wants to stay up here because a demon’s powers increase while they’re up here. This is why he was bugging Darcy so much. She’s the girl who accidentally brought him up here.
Question 10: Got a plan to stop him?
No, but as Chip keeps saying, we’ll think of something.
Question 11: Now that you’re a demon. . . or something similar, have you got any demony type powers?
I can change my breast size. I know, that doesn’t sound like much of an accomplishment, but when a girl needs anonymity, making herself flat is the best thing she can do. Also, I can change my outfits and wear any sort of shoe I please–even those really expensive designer models that cost thousands of dollars.
Question 12: Alter your breast size? Wow, I’d never have a use for that but I bet you’ve found a way to make it come in handy a few times?
Like I said, it lets you do things in public without hordes of men staring.
Question 13: You were in Hollywood for a few years, star in any big name movies?
Unfortunately, I was only able to land a few commercials and one or two tiny walk-ons.
Question 14: Got any stories to tell about celebs getting into awkward situations? Hopefully one involving the lovely Johnny Depp 😉
I spent four years in Hollywood and if I hadn’t died, I probably would have left within the year. I met a few celebrities, but didn’t like them very much. They’re all so stuck on themselves. All they seem to care about is their hair and their cocaine supply.
Question 15: Would you like that life back, be a Hollywood star again?
I intend to do whatever I can to stay up here.
Question 16: You could always become a superhero 😉 Of course you’re not as powerful as me but, maybe you could find a use for your powers somehow?
I’ll only use my powers to help people. Every time I mention this to Chip, he yawns and looks nauseous.
Question 17: What sorta demons are down in hell? Are they all big, powerful, dangerous ones or are there more good guys?
There are supers, subs, and inferiors. I’m sure there are some good guys down there, but since the supers (the really nasty demons) run the place, the good guys would be the inferiors. That kind of sounds like how it is up here, doesn’t it?
Question 18: Okay, you’ve been an excellent guest. Thank you for agreeing to appear on my blog. Is there anything else you would like to add before you leave?
I’d like to thank my biographer Dave for letting me speak my mind. He really is sweet–good-looking, too. And thank you, too!
Thankyou Tiffany! It’s being great having you here and good luck!
Anyway, remember to check back soon for any other updates on me and, the progress of the novel about me, True Hero?
Love and Peace
Tiffany Labouf is a character from the Demon Chaser series by David Berardelli! More information can be found at David’s website at http://www.writersownwords.com/berardelli/ and here is the blurb of the books!
“Sexy, sassy and dead, Tiffany LeBouf is pulled into Hell by the incompetent demon Gutril. Paired with the demon Chip, she is sent to find Gutril after he is summoned to Ohio by a teenage girl goofing off with a spell she’d found online. They are given three days to find Gutril and bring him back before he can select a mortal host and remain here. As a spirit, Tiffany finds that she has the ability to change her breast size at will and conjure up any outfits she desires. She also realizes that her new powers can keep her from being forced to return to Hell.”